After driving home from work, I walked towards the lift landing at the bottom of my flat. An old man greeted my sight. He seems like a Malay to me due to the darkness of the skin. With his white hair all grown and his skin all wrinkled, I figured out that he was someone probably at the age of 80?
So the lift door opened after it arrived on the ground level. I took my step into the lift first, pressing the “door open” button for the old man to walk in. The size of the steps he walked weren’t big. Probably a young kid could walk a bigger step than he does in normal pace. Apparently it’s normal if you slow down as you age in time. As he stopped and looked for his number, I kindly asked which level is he staying so that I could assist him in pressing the button.
Before I even said finish, I saw him raise his feeble arm, all shaky and weak, pressing the level 4 button, and nodding his head in thanks for the gesture and favour. At that point I smiled, and his smile was a mere fragile one. Probably he has been smiling all his life. But from that point, it struck me to thinking that if I was this old, what will I do next? I mean – usually the old people will either find something to do, or wait for their death beds to arrive no?
But then the feeble motion of the old man just made me look at him in pity and at the same time, asking myself the same question – what if I’m like this when I’m old? What do I look forward to?
By the way, when he reached his level, he walked out saying thank you, but this time, his paced increased. Perhaps he read my mind and decided to do something for himself in the future before his passing. Take care old man.
I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired so much more aware
I’m becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can’t you see that you’re smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired so much more aware
I’m becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I know I may end up failing too
But I know You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired so much more aware
I’m becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be
I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be
Reminiscing with this song that has brought up many things in life that I want to tackle and sort things out and things that I have always wanted to solve with my own will power. It’s times like these that I have always feel that I really need to wake up my fucking idea because no one will help me out of my misery apart from myself. But eventually I will ask myself that damn simple question.
Eventually, the society’s females will end up being stronger than the males here, forcing all guys to be reserved with their feelings. And women – being women – will eventually want an answer no matter how busy and patient they can be because they never like beating around the bush. Or probably like to beat around the guy’s bush.
Then eventually every female will start to be the one woo-ing guys because the guys here simply give up on the female mind games that they have been using it for trickery for so long.
And probably that’s what I’m feeling, because I gave up already.
I don’t want to guess anymore.
Take it or leave it. I’m always here for the taking. My patience rather ran out and I’m giving myself a time limit for all these suffering to end.
I HATEplaying guessing games.
Give me more time at Ben & Jerrys. It’s time like these that make me wanna sit down and cry.
I recently attended a one day motivational course which was rather useful. It kinda helps you make your workplace a better one and changes your thinking on always being a complaint.
The trainer quoted that SM Goh Chok Tong once said that Singaporeans are a bunch of people that only love to complain. But what the trainer taught us is that – We can complain till the cows come home, but the question is – what can we do about it? Prolly not many people ask themselves about it, but in fact, I feel that we all should ask ourselves about what we can do about it.
Many at times we complain and complain and complain. And the fact that only a minority finds a solution to the complains are those that are smart enough to move on. I mean – if we don’t adapt, we die no? It’s all about accepting the change and putting a smile on your face, knowing that a better tomorrow can be achieved if your perspective in life weren’t that full of negativity.
It was a real refresher. I came out thinking differently. And I came out thinking that if I don’t move on with an eye of ambition, I will not achieve what I want and what I deserve. Hard work pays most of the time. So it’s either I sit there and sulk, hoping that miracles will fall from the sky, or I can go out there, in the scariest of all jungles, and make my way out of here to a better place of paradisaical feel.
So are you still sitting there in your underwear watching tv? Get up! Do something about your life. Don’t frown and fret over the smallest things that our weak hearts couldn’t take. Because the only medicine to your weakness is your positivity to NOT let your heart feel that way.
And remember to smile, because a Smile is a curve that sets everything straight. =)
Day 7 was a thrill for me because I get to go to their Wildlife park. I mean – it’s like a zoo just that it belongs to all of Australia’s animals itself. Things like the Tasmanian Devil, the Wombat, the Emu, the Koala etc. I have not seen these animals in my life before and I got the chance to see it. How cool is that?
Anyways, we went to 4 places to make it exact. First up was Mount Lofty Summit, the highest point of Adelaide. Of course, needless to say, that it is 10 times more beautiful than being up at Mount Faber. Literally you can see the whole Adelaide from that summit itself. It is a real beauty to behold.
Then we headed to Cleland Wildlife park, where kangaroos, ducks, geese, emus, pelicans etc all roam freely around the park. Insane but true. But it was a good experience nonetheless. Things like the Koala, Wombat, Tasmanian Devil etc are all caged up for sure. Too wild and rabid I believe. Not the koala because it’s too…. tamed. Haha.
Then we head off to Hahndorf, the oldest German Settlement in Australia. Hahndorf by the way is “village” in German. It’s a relatively quiet and yet peaceful village that we really enjoy. Their German Sausages at the Hahndorf Inn were fantastic by the way. And their desserts. OH SO LOVELY. The taste of the Blueberry Crumble Cheesecake will always be in my tastebuds. Because it’s SO DAMN NICE that I think Singapore’s desserts couldn’t be compared. It is the BEST cheesecake + crumblepie together. Oh my. Feels like falling in love again. Too bad it’s not human.
The village itself is an abundance of blooming flowers and beautiful “botak” trees. Even their trees look beautiful. Damn..
Then we headed off to the Toy Factory, where they built the LARGEST ROCKING HORSE IN THE WORLD. Seriously it is really huge. I mean, which human in the world can rock that shit. But the wildlife park they have is interesting. Sheeps, Alpacas, Ducks, Chickens, Peacocks etc flock to you for food. And it’s not like I’m carrying anything. But it’s really fun to see these animals getting close up to you even when you know they might attack you anytime, yet they mean no harm.
Then it was Barossa Valley. There wasn’t much things I could do there besides taking pictures because I don’t drink. We were at Saltram Vineyard and yes, Louis drank more than what we deserved. I think he was the only one of out the whole group of 19 who had the most drinks. Haha. Nonetheless, it was a good place to look around. And it is also a good place for a wedding from how I see it.
Now, pictures then. =D
Adelaide.
Still at Mount Lofty.
Cleland Wildlife Park.
See what I mean.
Fat Wombat.
THAT particular Blueberry Crumble Cheesecake.
World’s Largest Rocking Horse.
At Saltram.
Lovely eh. That summed up many things in Adelaide. Hope to go back there one day again. =DD
Day 4 and 5 was spent mostly on grocery shopping at Central Market and Chinatown. Gift shopping, souvenir shopping, all done within that day itself. Though there were more eventually. Haha. The market itself is rather interesting because you get to see different things that you will hardly see in a normal wet market that they have here. And mind you, their market aren’t slippery and wet like ours here.
I will let the pictures do the talking. And yes, more sunsets too. =D
Oysters selling fresh in the market for consumption on the spot. =D
Kangaroo meat?
Rabbit meat.
Fresh fish everywhere.
Ventilation above in the market. Notice the Smelly Cheese Shop. Yes, they sell cheese only.
Chocolates and nuts all sold here. Nice
Chinatown.
Victoria Square, Adelaide.
Rundle. Pardon the line, must be Photobucket. zzz.
And we went Toys ‘R’ Us for a walk, and we saw toys that haven’t really been around in Singapore for years I guess. Haha.
Leaving Rundle after a walk there.
What did I told you. =P
Then Day 6 came.
So we had Nandos, some Portugese Eatery at Glenelg itself. I must say that their chicken dishes were really well done. Love the spiciness levels too. =) Then we booked our tour to Cleland Wildlife Park as well as a tour to Hahndorf too. More shopping was done at Rundle as well, this time, the Northen Terraces, where the museum, the university and the casino are situated at. But it was yet again, the sunset that took my breath away time after time after time.
More pictures to enjoy. =D
Seriously, seriously large.
Ooh, Spicy.
Some guy that has the attributes of Theodore Roosevelt.
Their normal street trees. Amazing eh.
South Australian Museum.
On the way back in the bus.
This is a brothel. Ok, I’m kidding, this is a shop that sells newspapers, magazines, gift cards, drinks etc. In short, a mamak stall. Haha.
But I will forget everything so that I can be happy the next day I wake up from my sleep and pretend nothing I did or say or see happened the day before.
This is why I go to Kangaroo Island – to see natural landscapes that money can’t buy. And yes, it made my dream come true. What more can I ask for? It’s like watching Westlife’s My Love music video all over and over again. The ocean that stretches to the horizon, rocks that form ever so lovely on the gorges, and gorges that form the landscape of stones and greenery. Oh my.
We went to places like the Australian Birds of Prey, where they display stunning abilities and educate the tourists on the instincts of the birds and stuff like that. Also, we manage to go to sceneric places like the Remarkable Rocks, The Admiral’s Arch and Flinders National Park. Places that we went to visit includes the Seal Bay itself. Cute seals there indeed. Fat and wobbly. Haha.
Overall in Kangaroo Island, the island itself is 7 times bigger than Singapore, and has a population of only 4000 people I think. But nonetheless, the breathtaking landscape makes up for all the things that I have been dying to see all these while. And as I left the place with a heavy heart, the sunset was another beauty that took my breath away. Reflecting on the top of the ferry deck, out in the cold wind, telling myself that no matter how bad the day will be, when the sun sets for me, it will surely be a beautiful one.
And I wasn’t wrong about it. Because the sun grant me my smile. =)
And here are some photos to sum it up. =)
At Cape Jurvis, departing for Kangaroo Island.
Having fresh sandwiches on board. =)
At Seal Bay.
A very big Eagle.
At the Remarkable Rocks.
Admiral’s Arch.
Admiral’s Arch.
Pennesville, near the jetty to go back to Adelaide.
Big Sunset Photo. =DDD
Very cold, but reflecting still.
As usual, please head to Facebook to see them. Photobucket don’t give me that much quota to post, or else my bandwidth exceed. zzz.
Apparently, the first day was just being stuck at Brisbane. I will post up film photos of that day once I get it developed.
Day 1 (Night) – Reached Adelaide (finally) at 9:20pm there (which is about 6:50pm here). Alex, Louis, Meli and Aunt Alison were there to pick me up. And when I went out of the airport, yes, smoky breath. That’s how cold it is. Of course, I went home, then took a good stroll to the ultra cold jetty which has kinda slight blistering winds blowing in land. Of course, my hand and ears were numb. Totally.
Day 2 – They brought me to Harbourtown, a place where shopping is like on discounted prices all over, but not all prices after discount are that cheap either. Some are like normal pricing after discount (this show’s how expensive it is over there.) Of course, I didn’t really shop there, but what’s worth to buy would be their Levi’s jeans, which is apparently cheaper than I thought it would be.
Secondly was their Havaianas. The normal ones there are selling at like 2 pairs for $30, but mostly were either the girls ones or the same old normal type (black or white) which is rather boring. Then again, the fruits, the food, the shopping, was just splendid. Enough said.
Dinner was at this restaurant simply named Fish. Dining by the marina by the way. It isn’t cheap as well. Though we had the seafood platter, the meal itself was rather expensive alone. But it was so fresh that I felt the money we paid was well worth it. What more can I ask for? Then again, standard of living there is rather high, and eating at a normal eatery has pricing that is as good as eating Sakae Sushi here. That’s how expensive it is. Imagine if you start dining in a restaurant.
Some pictures of my time away. =)
Moseley Square town clock. =)
On the way to Harbourtown in the bus.
Harbourtown itself. It’s only like 1/15 of the whole place.
Me. At Harbourtown.
A Church at Glenelg itself.
Crossing the Road at Jetty Road, Glenelg. =)
One of the few Marinas at Glenelg.
At the breakwater before dinner at Fish.
The ultra Seafood Platter. Amazingly fresh. =D
Sunset. =)))))))
Moseley Square memorial.
Moseley Square and the evening sky. =DD
More pictures on my Facebook. Please go see. Haha.
1) Looking at Window’s XP default wallpaper all over again – beautiful and green.
2) observing acres of soft green grain plantations that make you wanna lie on them and roll all over the place.
3) Looking at the plantation, you just wanna get the tractor to make crop circles and deliver and unexpected alien sign. Perhaps Bruce Willis will notice your message.
4) Watching Westlife’s My Love music video.
5) Going back to olden medieval times when I’m at Hahndorf.
6) Living simpler lives and times when I was young, carefree and stress-free.
7) Sitting below a lonely tree on top of one of the many green hills.
Having the whole field filled with yellow daisies.
9) Not worrying about your food not being stale because even McDonalds and Subway serve the freshest food.
10) Another place for me to consider getting married and retiring.
As I took a stroll on the beach today at a dropping temperature of 16.3 degrees, forward I moved, with my shoe sinking slightly into the sand, with yet another amazing sunset that never fails to impress me. I took my camera, set sights on the horizon, took some shots, admire the beauty, and continued walking whilst people continue to enjoy their volleyball and beach time.
Reflected I did, quietly I walked. Telling myself that it isn’t always that life is fair to everyone. And it’s not that feelings of others will surface to you. And it’s not like the one that you like will tell you the same right at your face. Sanity keeps one going. Insanity keeps one ambitious.
Of course, bi-sanity will keep me balanced. I’m a changed man when I’m here. I’m totally different from the usual me. Why? Because I can’t believe that I can withstand the coldness alone at the jetty. In the past, the thought of the chilling wind will ground me in my bed. Thoughts are clear, the mind’s free to think now. All I need is constant rest, and I will be a fresh one every other day. Work? Got it. Car? Got it. Girl? No, so be that way. Let nature take it’s course.
Time to do something about my future. I’m responsible for my own well-being.
All was well. Looking at her was like observing perfect sunsets every evening. Beauty to behold. Crystal clear eyes to see. A smile that sets my life straighter than the horizon can get.
Seen so much misery that went past me, never stopped finding the perfect one. Wait, what perfect one? Bullshit? I concur time and time again. I never wanted to trust fate the day my heart sank to the bottom of the ocean. I never wanted to leave everything to chance because I know there’s a price to every chance you take.
As I gazed at night, looking at the shimmering stars of the night that filled the dark sky with abundance of glowing light, I stared at the city lights, without comparison to those of lighters raised in a concert. Then I started to feel that life has begin treating me kinder for now, without worries, without fear, without the power to hold any responsibility.
Then she took my heart away.
But the more I observe, the more I find out, the more I look at what I don’t deserve to see. I fell upon a branch that I forego. I missed out a blinding arrow that pierce right through my heart. I didn’t want to believe. I didn’t want to start believing in those nonsense that kept me occupied away from all the norms in life. I know I couldn’t trust my own vision. I know I couldn’t trust what I see. But sometimes the truth holds many outcomes. And to believe in that is another.
Bane has long lived in the eyes of the loved. It’s hard to believe. But I will choose not to. Abstinence is what I’m here for. And thou shall forget what thou saw. I have seen enough.
And now let me rest my mind. Because I will wait and see the outcome. Don’t make me wait girl. Tell me it isn’t true, ’cause I don’t wanna be lonely no more.
Belief makes things real
Makes things feel, feel alright
Belief makes things true
things like you, you and I
(chorus)
Tonight you rest in my mind
When you came to my defense
With a knife in the shape of your mouth
In the form of your body
With the wrath of a God
Oh you stood by me
Belief builds from scratch
Doesn’t have to relax
It doesn’t need space
Long live the Queen
And I’ll be the King
In the colour of grace
(chorus)
Oh tonight you rest in my mind
When you came to my defense
With a knife in the shape of your mouth
In the form of your body
With the wrath of a God
Oh you stood by me, Belief
I’m gonna yell it from the roof tops
I’ll wear a sign on my chest
That’s the least I can do, its the least I can do
(Chorus)
And I’ll stand by mine, belief
oh I’ll stand by mine, belief
Bandwidth over here is limited will only type into words instead. Will upload photos when I get home.
Anyways, I believe most people have known a little about my slight “plight” here when I touched down in Aussie. Here’s what happened.
Day 1 – I took off from Singapore at around 2125H and took a long plane trip to Brisbane. So on the plane itself, my entertainment tv set was down, and the passenger beside me, a Swedish old man, had his working, so he kindly called for help to get my tv done up, so they restarted the system, and then it was his turn to be spoiled and mine – working – obviously.
Then the restarting continued and it was back to square one again. So I was quite pissed off because I was watching “The Proposal” halfway through. But when I was about to reach Brisbane International, things started working all fine. By then I had to fast forward to all the action scenes in Transformers : Revenge of the Fallen and finish it all in like half an hour perhaps? Period. Although I know I won’t have it.
So after alighting, everything went smoothly through the customs (chop passport that part), then things went downhill. The baggage department experience congestion in baggage (LIKE HOW?) and then there was a delay. I waited for my baggage for AN HOUR and then went to queue up to go past the custom scanners, which the queue was so mother-effing long that I swear to god that I feel like cutting them past, by then my watch is telling me that I only have half an hour to catch my plane. Indeed, I didn’t catch my plane. Because the Qantas domestic flight staff told me it’s impossible. So he told me to get in the long line and they will see what they can do to arrange me for another flight.
And you know what they did? When I reached the counter, they gave us taxi vouchers, and then told us to go to the domestic airport to check in our baggage and see what arrangements can be done. Sucking my thumb in disbelief, I went there and they directed me again to another sales ticketing counter to get my flight arranged. Running up and down is not gonna help. And my next flight they arranged was at 6pm, with the 3:40pm one full.
Stranded at Brisbane. For 9 holy hours. What they fuck am I suppose to do? So I did the unthinkable – get my big baggage to be checked in, claiming that it’s still their fault that their baggage department is inefficient, and then making them check in my baggage as early as 9am Aussie time. Btw, I reached Brisbane at 7am. And then I had to lug around my hand carry luggage with me. I tried to squeeze in a “GIVE ME A BUSINESS CLASS UPGRADE FOR YOUR FAULTS” try but I failed.
So I took the train to the City to explore. Well, on the brighter note, it is 2 places in one holiday, not too bad for an experience – Alone. I had totally no clue on what to do at Brisbane, so I went around shopping alone, walking around alone, but I didn’t buy anything, because I might not know what is expensive or cheap, but then again, the stuff there are really different. But the people around there are quite amazing indeed. Haha. Amazing as in they are totally different from what I expect. But it’s fun to people watch, but I get more stares than me staring at them. Perhaps I’m overdressed. Hmmm.
After all the shit, I manage to reach Adelaide at 9:20. Like almost 9 h0urs late. Sad to say, I had to go back for a rest.
Day 2 – Saturday was alright, manage to go around the city exploring what we have in Harbourtown, where most of the discounted things are available there. I saw normal Havaianas at AUD$34 for 2 pairs. Cheap. Haha. The metal logo ones are like AUD$39.95. Not so cheap after all. But will continue to find.
Clothes there are not that cheap either, though they have jeans, sweaters, shirts, and many other stuff. (Colin – Note, your Zapato I found it, but it’s at AUD$109, which is more than what you think.)
Day 3 – The whole day was spent at Kangaroo Island, where I get to see many beautiful sceneries with breathtaking views of rocks and gorges and what have you. Even rocks that look remarkably remarkable that they were named Remarkable Rocks were really remarkably… remarkable. Seriously. Then there were many other stuff to see like Birds of Prey, Seal bay, Admiral’s Arch etc. Totally sightseeing, and wind-eating. So cold that whenever I took my hands out of my pocket, I placed them back in instantly. The wind is like ice-biting cold.
Well, that’s all for today, it’s really a crazy day today. And I finished my black and white film today. Gonna expand one whole roll of lomo velvia colour film tomorrow on street takes. Till then, I will upload photos when I get home. =))
After seeing so many ppl having their own wishlist, perhaps it's time I had mine. Haha.
- A new pair of Vans Shoe
- Manhattan Portage Accessories Pouch
- Fisheye Camera
- Canon 5D Mk II
- Liverpool Home Jersey
- Bean Bag for my Room
- Fred Perry Polo Tee and Shirt and Shoe
- Porter Tokyo bag
- A pair of ankle-cut shoes
- Citibank Credit Card
- Mazda 121
- A Red/Black Rug for my room
- Some funky looking iPhone Casing and Protector
- To study
- New Balance Sneaker
- OWN A CLUB
- A big mirror for my room
- Fourskin Black Jacket
- a pair of Loafers
- Trip to Adelaide
- Trip to Genting with the Nobles
- Trip to Japan
- Trip to UK
- Invest in Property and Stocks and Financial Savings Plan
- Get another tattoo
- Slim Kim Nudie Jeans
9
Having the whole field filled with yellow daisies.
