Walk The Talk

21 Jul 2010 Leave a Comment

by egomarc in action, inspiration, interest, Just Updates, life, love, mood, rant, reflections

After much hype and thought about many things that went through my life, I think it’s time to make a name for myself.

There are so many things that I wanna change about my work, my attitude towards many things, my hobby, my needs and wants in life. I guess I know I can’t do all at once, but at least try to change something for the time being. Probably a plan that needs to be drawn and executed shortly. I know I’m capable of this, but it seems that I lack the motivation gravely. I don’t know why but it seems that I lost the motivation to do many things. To inspire myself, to inspire people (if that is one of the things I have done last time), to do more than I could because I know I can.

I wonder why I changed so much. And I wonder why I lack the motivation. Probably because there’s nothing much to look forward to in life. And I can’t always depend on others to scrap through time. I gotta start being individualistic. Don’t blame me for it, because I don’t like it either. But if I don’t be, I don’t get things done. I really wish that I was being locked up somewhere that I have no access to the internet and only my outstanding stuff that I have to do and things that I have planned for and have not start much on it. I gotta start thinking. I gotta start tinkering.

I used to tell myself to just do it, and not think about it. Apparently I need to start regulating this act and bring it all to the starting point. I need to start getting things straight. I need paper. I need to scribble down. I will probably scribble a lot of rubbish like how that guy in Heroes that has a special ability to paint the future. And maybe I need to paint my own actions and future. I will create a manual, a manual of every action, of everything that I want to achieve. It WILL BE the most formidable guide to survival and life. I will acknowledge that.

But I know I can never write a manual on love. That’s a fact. I doubt anyone can. Because if I could, then everyone else would be in love.

Then again, I will do whatever I can to complete this manual of mine. Because this manual will be life to me. Since I have nothing to commit to, the manual will be like a “bible” to me. All things will be jotted inside. Life will be easier with this manual. A lot more easier and interesting. =) Maybe to make it more interesting, maybe I will share a couple of chapters here. See how it goes. But will churn this manual out nonetheless. Heh.

Now for bedtime. Because there’s something to look forward to at last.