Falling For You

22 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment

by egomarc in Friends, history, hobbies, interest, Just Updates, life, love, mood, rant, reflections, whatever

Somehow I feel that everything that it’s above is kinda like the opposite. I don’t know that’s why I don’t judge and I don’t want to trust, knowing that if I do, I will end up in the same state all over and over again. Smarter right now to believe that things aren’t that easy. But of course, as the saying goes, if you believe it is a problem, it will always and forever be a problem.

Pessimism aside, love has always been a form of entity that words couldn’t construct on the surface of things. Love is kinda like a subconscious feeling, and it’s that kind of feeling that you feel good of that person, that the feeling can become better if given more opportunity, more chance, more time for engaging.

As this kind of thing progresses, time tells many tales of excitement and grief. Disappointment or entertainment, it’s subjective considering the type of person and personality involved. If one doesn’t give another the chance, and that hints are all over to see, I guess sometimes it’s time to give up and move on. It happened to me always. And it will forever be happening to me. It’s kinda bad, but you know, life screws you up some times and it’s obvious to see why. In accordance to Murphy’s Law, whatever will go wrong, will go wrong.

Apparently, my whole life is filled up by the fact that Murphy lives in me. And whatever I touch, whoever I speak to, whatever action I take, whoever I hear from, will all be erroneous. Not because I don’t believe in my confidence, and it’s not because of my self-esteem that I deemed a failure once, but it’s because ultimately, whenever I had a chance, it wasn’t presented to me well. And when it’s presented to me well, I’m avoided. I’m not a failure just because I tried, but at least I tried to make the effort. But it ain’t dreamland always. It ain’t always a day that the sun will be up there forever to paint picture of fluffy clouds added colour to the sky.

Please.

When everyone deserves a chance or two, we have people in the world that don’t offer anything at all. I guess I have seen too many of all this. And that when the time that you thought you can trust someone all over again, she walks away. I’m not stupid, as I mentioned time and time again. I might be dumb, but I’m not born blinded by anything. So don’t come telling me that I have not made the effort. Because I know it doesn’t happen to me anytime now, anytime sooner, or anytime later. Because I lost faith in all these “happenings”. I don’t want to judge because I don’t see things that others can. And that others shouldn’t judge me because they can’t see things on my end that I can see. But I stopped believing already. It’s time to live the life of innocence.

I believe. That it won’t happen on my end. Ever. Again.

I can wake up from my dream now.