Work sucks, I know.
20 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in interest, life, mood, rant, work
Been a while since i blogged. but now because i have heart burning issues that i know i can’t raise up and still accept responsibility for all that has cocked up, this is what i have to say after an interview with the higher authority.
the sad part about work is that when you tried really hard to make things better and change things to facilitate life better here for all and people still don’t notice. it makes it worse when people comment on the negative stuff of you. it really didn’t help when my boss is some cause of it and he gets away by not acknowledging his errors, and you have to suck it up and admit it’s your fault instead of his. the bigger sin of his was to let the authority know of it when he has done far more worse issues than i do.
save the comment on code of conduct when his actions are self-exemplary of the wrong. you are not even anywhere near considerate to others in your department. you sorta disallow myself from going on urgent leave during a preparation period and you actually went away for 3 fucking days. where’s that integrity?
I want to start new. give me my next location of work. I’m about to explode here anytime.
Busy?
24 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in interest, Just Updates, life, love, mood, whatever
I guess i have been busy of late. so many things to do, so little time, and yet crucial decisions to be made all the time.
I lost all my time for many other things. Probably now i know the meaning of sacrifice.
And yes, I think I’m the last one standing among the nobles to have a blog and still blog about it.
And I didn’t even took the time to update the whole 2010 in my blog.
I guess work, life, friends, and yes, love, took a turn for the better.
Now that I’m so busy, I wonder if I ever had the time to blog again.
I will still keep this cyber-diary of mine, to make sure that when I read everything that happened, I’m sure enough that I can stand here and brag about the decisions I chose because that’s what made me what I am today.
And perhaps that some decisions were right and wrong.
But I guess it’s about moving on.
Now that I have come to the stage of stability, I would want to achieve more than what I have.
Onto the next path. And I hope that the woman I love now will walk this path with me.
More sacrifices to come. i hope my life will not be the one at stake. =/
Cheerios ppl. I will still update again IF i have the time. =D
It’s Melted Snow.
10 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Just Updates, life, love, mood, whatever
Singapore is facing a rather drastic change of weather. Erratic weather. As of late.
If only we had snow. And if only the weather is so cold that snow falls instead of rain. We can’t do much during rainy periods, so might as well snow. Because I can at least thankfully build a snowman for once.
And yes, I’m typing this as I’m not feeling so well in the nose and throat department, having much sneezing periods and hiccups at the throat for almost a month. My body’s weak and frail. I guess I’m getting old and I’m feeling it the hard way. I need ample sleep and energy as well, but I can’t seem to retain that possibility of early days and nights. Any tips on this?
I did realise that my blog is getting more dusty and cobwebs-filled. I don’t have that energy and luxury to blog almost everyday like I used to. I guess it’s not an excuse but I believe that as life and work commitments get to you, you will find it hard to do many many things, and priorities start arranging themselves and at the end of the day, it’s how you manage to achieve more than just the required things you wish to achieve. Determinations don’t come easier, and if everyday I feel that it’s gonna rain, then I guess I don’t have much morale left to do things.
2011 will come as an abrupt year for me, as January really quick. And we don’t have the chance to change, do, amend or at least try something. 2011 will arrive to me as another year to pass, with work immensing, school starting, and so many activities coming up that I probably will forget when I was born. I guess shocking can also be used to describe this year. I will see what I can come up with since everything’s so normal these days. Creativity is the new norm.
Change the world, here I come. =)
因为…
05 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Just Updates, life, love, mood
你有权利寻找你最适合谁的拥抱, 因为我只是寂寞的解药, 也只是你生命的配角.
Beautiful Song.
04 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in inspiration, interest, Just Updates, life, love, mood
Coldplay – See You Soon
So you lost your trust
& you never should have
No you never should have
But don’t break your back if you ever see this
But don’t answer that
In a bullet-prove vest
With the windows all closed
I’ll be doing my best
& I’ll see you soon
In a telescope lens
& when all you want is friends
I’ll see you soon
So they came for you
They come snapping at your heels
They come snapping at your heels
But don’t break your back if you ever heard this
But don’t answer that
Cause in a bullet-prove vest
With the windows all closed
I’ll be doing my best
& I’ll see you soon
In a telescope lens
& when all you want is friends
I’ll see you soon
Noo you lost your trust
Noo you lost your trust
Noo don’t lose your trust
Noo don’t lose your trust
2011
02 Jan 2011 3 Comments
in Just Updates, life, love, mood, reflections, whatever
New post.
New year.
New resolutions.
New shoes.
New goals.
New attitude.
New lifestyle.
New monitor.
New perspective.
Same old me.
Taiwan (29th Oct 2010 – 5th Nov 2010)
14 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
in food, Friends, holiday, interest, Just Updates, life, money, mood, Taiwan, Taiwan, whatever
The long awaited post is here. After so much editing, I think I deserve to blog one of the longest post in my entire life.
Anyways, here’s my whole Taiwan trip. Enjoy.
Arrived at Changi Airport Terminal 1 at about 4:45am. Headed for breakfast alone at BK as the rest have not arrived. But then again, was made to rush and wait eventually when Zhencong was late. But still, we manage to board our plane safely.
Landed in Taoyuan International Airport at around 11:45am in Taiwan. The first look at the airport – not so convincingly an international airport that I would expect, but nonetheless, it still deserves to be recognised and discovered. But that is also not ruining my image of Taiwan. As I sat in the backseat in the cabby that was arranged to ferry us, I travel past the busy expressways of Taipei, with torn and tattered buildings that made Taiwan look like a city of yesteryears. And I always had that impression that Taiwan is still well-developed. But sadly it isn’t. That won’t spoil my image of Taiwan still, because ultimately, Japan also looks like that, just that they have cleaner air with nicer weather, though Taiwan’s raining and raining that whole period.
When we arrived at our accommodation area, I’m quite impressed at the type of room that I was given to live in. Though small, with 3 double-decked beds, 6 of us manage a cosier living style with everything everywhere in the room. With only 1 living room, there’s time for catchup sessions including Monopoly Deals before bath. A computer, with wireless, and also cable tv, it is priced at only SGD$125 for only 7 nights. Probably the best deal in the world. The hostel, TaiwanMex, is located about 5 to 10 minutes walk from the Taipei Main Train Station, which consist of their MRT as well as their Train Service.
The hostel is located at 66, ChangAn West St, at exit R4 of the underground shopping mall linking from Taipei Main Train Station to Zhongshan Station. Coming out from the entrance of the hostel on the right is Legend Bubble tea store, with a Tauhuay Drink eatery opposite the hostel. Good enough for breakfast, as I have ate there on the 3rd day. Good stuff.
We didn’t wait, so we moved off to sit the trains first. So we bought this concession card at $500NT ($400NT in train ride amounts, $100NT refundable after using up all the amount inside the card) and travelled throughout our whole Taiwan trip in Taipei. Nice eh. It’s like their EZLink Concession somehow. But it’s worth it. We went to shopping malls, Daiso, ate Mos Burger for lunch, which taste really good compared to Singapore. And we already contemplated at the purchase of a Porter pouch, but left it to the last day because it’s only the 1st day. LOL.
So after that we went to Sogo at Zhongshan Dunhua and Zhongshan Fuxing to have a look as well. They have 3 Sogos sanwiched between that area, and it’s not as small as you think it is. But it has a lot to offer. Brands like Nike and Adidas are presently there, G-shock, Puma, Porter International etc are all there too. It’s like our Takashimaya, less exquisite, because they are not offering big brand names like Chanel or at least Agnes B. After walking around, we decided to settle for Ding Tai Fung, since it’s around their area. Amazing thing is – the food is so much cheaper there than Singapore. We paid SGD$13 each to eat a portion that we usually eat individually at Singapore for about SGD$30 per pax. And the waitress are hell prettier than Singapore ones here. Totally amazing.
After that sumptuously cheap meal, we were wondering where should we go next. Then out of the blue, our random suggestion was to head to Shida Night Market since it was just around the corner. The next thing we knew, we were on the way there in the cab. Once there, it’s hell crowded but fantastically, it has so much to offer. Cheap clothes, cheap shoes, cheap food. What else can I say? There’s a MRT station along the green line, nearer than Zhongshan Fuxing. Take that one there. More accessible and faster.
Yup, and before you know it, we were heading back to the hostel to leave our stuff and get ready for clubbing at Luxy. The club, in all, is a great club with nice ambience and good people, just lacking one thing – atmosphere. It’s strange to know that the people in the club wanna head down to party but not knowing how to mingle, dance, or at least sing the damn song, which I’m not surprised to how they can’t actually sing it properly. But then again, it was a club that played probably underground music that I haven’t heard of. But the sad part is that I went one day earlier, because the next day was Benni Benassi and David Guetta. DOWN ON MY LUCK so to speak. Sigh.
Anyways, entrance fee is NT$600. But you can pay at like NT$5000 to get a table with drinks, if I’m not wrong. 1 or 2 bottles, I can’t remember, but definitely more worth it. The NT$600 is like SGD$25, cheaper than Butter factory.
Day 2 – Ximending. And only Ximending.
If you want me to elaborate on shopping at Ximending, then I will give you some tips on shopping smart in Taiwan.
Tip 1 – Check for shops that have Tax Refund.
Usually renowned departmental stores like Roots, Sogo etc do offer Tax Refund after spending more than NT$3000 in that departmental store itself. But as for smaller single shops like Adidas Originals, XLarge etc, they might not offer the Tax Refund, and the sales staff have no freaking clue that it CANNOT BE CLAIMED SIMPLY AT THE AIRPORT ALONE. Firstly, to identify if the company is registered as a tax refund merchant, please ask the staff. Secondly to confirm your doubts, check on the back on the receipt if there’s a blue chop with some chinese words in a rectangular box. That rectangular box is an indication that it is a company that is registered. So if you can, shop wisely to save some money back to buy Sun Biscuits at the airport.
Tip 2 – Don’t always Jiak, Pong, Gao (JPG)
Let me elaborate on the terms of JPG. Jiak = Eat, Pong = Coupled, Gao = Win. In the mahjong world, JPG is typically of those people that aren’t afraid to die in the game, but end up with a stroke of luck that could either steer them away from a big payout to their opponent or winning that round with big loads of shit ass money. In the shopping world, Jiak means you practically saw something you like. Pong means you decided to try it in the fitting room, or at least try the product out. Gao means you bought it without even thinking. In a nutshell, JPG is simply known as Impulsive Shopping.
Apparently in Taiwan, you can find many of the same things all over and over again, not usually pertaining to Ximending, but especially areas like Wufenpu and the other night markets, notably Shilin and Shida. So don’t just spend your money in a blind shade. You will never know what you can find in the next shop. But it’s also quite hard sometimes as the areas there are extensively messy. All importantly, just make sure you know when you are getting it, Singapore’s equivalent product has to be more expensive so that you feel that its worth it to purchase.
Tip 3 – Bring your cash, and credit card, to the right places.
You see, if you are shopping at the departmental store, if you don’t have the cash, the card is always the best friend. But if you end up shopping at smaller stores at Shilin Night Market, then you are in for deep shit if you don’t have the cash. Apparently, these smaller shops – not all of them – might not have a credit card machine for you to swipe happily. So please bring sufficient cash.
Tip 4 – Keep small change.
Importantly, because when you are hungry, you become a demon searching for food. But food is everywhere in the streets, just that you need to be mindful that giving such a big note wouldn’t guarantee you stomach satisfaction, because the auntie or uncle selling that sausage to you might not even have change to break it apart. And it’s good to get rid of coins at such places without touching your bigger notes like the NT$2000 note, which many Taiwanese haven’t really seen them till now, and they get all amazed by it.
Anyways, Ximending is one hell of an “Orchard Road”. Cool weather, very hip people, with Halloween in the fray, the mood is there. Young teenagers singing in the middle of the parade square a medley of Taiwanese Pop star hits that brought in an immense number of curious bystanders. Fun-goers displaying their costumes in all shapes and sizes. Friendly people with all due respect, were there to just bring up the mood in an already interesting place like this.
I bought a trenchcoat that is made in korea from this shop that has a wonderfully beautiful saleswoman. And yes, she was nice enough to entertain me. And boy she’s one hot lady as well. Don’t anyhow think, but she’s really very sexy indeed. But I love my trenchcoat more. LOL. I got myself an Adidas Fall/Winter 2010 collection Campus shoe that wasn’t out in Singapore yet. I was over the moon when I bought it, but when I went back to the place, they were actually selling it like NT$300 cheaper. I was cursing a bit, which explains Tip 2 in the shopping tips above.
Anyways, the food along the streets itself are already great. But wait till I enter Miaokou at Keelung, then I will know what is the real deal. The food and bubble tea there is really really very cheap, way cheaper than your food courts that you dine in Singapore.
After all that crazy shopping, we went to the BIGGEST Partyworld KTV I have ever seen. In Singapore, it’s like a large area inside a shopping centre. In Taiwan, Partyworld occupies ONE BUILDING. I think it reaches to 20 storey high. Imagine that amount of KTV rooms you have. You will never grow sick of singing because in one particular room for example, it has an LCD TV, a toilet for you, 2 microphones, and the best thing of all, their touch screen song selection monitor! Pathetically in Singapore, we are still pressing our remotes.
It was all good, even the food in Partyworld ain’t as bad as the one we had in Singapore. But it was great nonetheless! And yes, we took a cab home, because Ximending is actually only one MRT station away from our accommodation area. Not too bad though!
Some pictures of the day. =)
Day 3 – Wufenpu, Taipei City Hall, Rao He Night Market
At this day, we did a lot of shopping, and sight seeing for sure. But Wufenpu, rumoured to be like a mad shopping area for all, surfaced in many of our conversations. Apparently, it’s like Singapore’s Bugis Street – Just way bigger.
Shopping was crazy, but please note that if you have to go to Wufenpu, please take the MRT and alight at Houshanpi. It’s along the blue line heading towards the east. Once you alight, check out the map and you can make your way there. But do not forget to dine in at a eatery with a yellow signboard. They are famous for their braised pork rice, which is FANTASTIC by the way. I would recommend the Bittergourd Soup that the same eatery is selling. It’s not even bitter at all, and it was the right call because the other Ginseng chicken soup is bitterly nice. LOL
If you are going with friends, just split up and meet at the same point again because, like Bugis, it’s quite messy and all around is male and female stuff. Shopping there is amazingly cheaper than you think, just do not expect big brands to appear, but more of street fashion to be available at a cheap price. Bargaining is possible, so if you can, buy more and get cheaper prices!
After all that crazy shopping, we headed to Taipei City Hall, agreeing that we will chase the sunset. So we end up taking photos and walking a distance of at least 5 Ngee Ann City Civic Plazas before arriving at a carpark opposite Taipei 101, once the tallest building in the world. It’s a sight to behold at night as well, though I was told that it was better to capture the day scenes. Then again, nightview was breathtakingly beautiful! Definitely higher than the Tokyo Tower for sure.
There’s shopping inside the Taipei 101 as well, but we aren’t exactly tourisy tourist, so we won’t go for those stuff there, because all of it are branded goods. But if you ever really wanna shop there, just don’t forget that they don’t accept Singapore Dollars at the foreign exchange counter. Apart from that, I wouldn’t recommend shopping there because the prices are more expensive than you can afford in Singapore.
After that breathtaking experience, we went back nearer to Houshanpi, where we were eager to try the famous mutton soup at Rao He Night Market, a night market full of FOOD. As for normal shopping like at every other night market, this is comparatively more incline to food than the other night markets. Sadly, the mutton soup was sold out once we arrived after such a long and deep walk into the night market. But of course, we didn’t give up. We end up buying many other food to try. Some of them are insanely overportioned till we somehow laughed it off and yet couldn’t finish. LOL
Day 4 – Hualien – The Gorges and The Gorging of Food.
And yes, we travelled down to the peaceful and serene east of Taiwan, where Hualien resides with all their mountainous gorges and valleys. So how do we get there? Actually the train tickets were bought earlier, but we needed to collect them the day before. Then again, please don’t go and buy the subway train tickets. It’s the other express train, but not the bullet train.
Anyways, we arrived after a 2 hour 45 minute train ride. The tour guide couldn’t make it on time, and hired a taxi driver instead, but we were really glad that it was him because he was really humble and nice to assist us in the whole tour, and it was really nice of him to dedicate his time even if he’s just a taxi driver.
Firstly, he brought us to this small eatery where he made us take-away set meals which he claimed that it’s one of their famous stalls, which I would recommend because it’s cheap and taste really good. So we reached the foot of Taroko National Park and we took many photos before reaching the museum area to have our packet lunch and a self-tour around that area to get to know the park better.
And we set off next to all the breathtaking and beautiful scenic gorges with bridges to walk, photos to take, and hills to climb. Such an experience away from urbanisation was greatly appreciated and I totally enjoyed myself hiking throughout with no hesitation and worries about the weather and work. Such a wonderful place to camp as well, as they have campsites provided with toilets and concrete areas!
After all that tiresome but fun times spent on the mountains, we head back to the city area, where food awaits us! We were told that this delicacy known as the “cong you bing” is so nice that it’s renown in the whole Taiwan! How good is that? Because it’s like prata, just that after it’s being fried, we had a sunny-side up egg placed between, folded with chilli flakes, and then there you go! One bite and the egg yolk comes flowing out. You know that kind of feeling? It’s STUPENDOUSLY YUMMILICIOUS! I couldn’t stand how nice this thing was that we all end up buying another after eating one of it!
But of course, the eating doesn’t stop here. We headed to their famously known wanton stall that was also popular, but when we were there, it’s quite empty, but at such a cheap price, we get like 10 wantons in a bowl for less than SGD$3? Totally worth it! After that nice wanton place, we head off to their well known stall that sells Xiao Long Bao, but apparently we were in for a shock. Why? Because we were expecting like DTF size of XLBs, so we thought we could just take 3 pieces per pax. But we were WRONG. Because the moment the woman opened the basket of dumplings, the XLBs are like…. Bs. BAOS I MEAN. The size of the XLB is like normal Baos. And it’s so nice, that like eating XLBs, there’s that sauce inside. WAH LAU, where got such thing one?! But it was out of this world. But we were really full to the brim.
Before heading back, I end up spending almost $40 on muahchees itself. LOL
Day 5 – Beitou, Danshui, Shilin Night Market
Amazingly, we decided to make our way to the hotspring city, Beitou. It was relatively far out, but we were in for that try out. While we kinda lost our way, we end up finding the place, and then we decided to go in even though it was only half an hour left, but it was too good not to try, and I was right because it is really too good not to try. It was sooooo warm, that every part of my skin feels tight and at the same time, small wounds started to heal.
The water is really from the hotspring because you can smell the strong smell of metal, or probably copper. And the hotspring itself varies from different temperatures at different pools. The best part? You pay only SGD$2. And you can soak for all you want. There’s bathing facilities, but note that the water you are bathing with is FREAKING COLD. Kinda like an after effect thing. But it’s so shiok, that I don’t feel cold when I got out of the hotspring pool.
After that half an hour of shiokness, we made our way on the train to Danshui, where it was famously known for their “Iron Eggs”. Iron eggs, basically, are like smaller and harder century eggs, in my opinion. But overall, I think if we can put those eggs into porridge, I’m sure it will taste as good. Heh.
But at Danshui, there’s so much food to offer along their “food street” as well. Like their famous sng muay, baked potato with cheese toppings etc. But most importantly, when you are at Danshui, you HAVE to try their seafood. There’s a seafood restaurant that is their most patronised for their popularity and it didn’t disappoint me at all because practically every dish taste damn good. The freshness, the abundance, and best of all, for a cheap price of SGD$80 plus for the whole table! And we have flower crabs, oysters, prawns, fish skin, vegetables, fried noodles, clam soup, fruit juices. How cheap can that go?!
Walking around the shops at Danshui makes my mind go back in time because of the things they sell. Reminiscing times in the shop wasn’t the way to go, but I had to because it’s too hard to resist things like spin tops, push pops, cola candies, flavoured ice sticks, glass bottles with marbles inside etc. I couldn’t list all, because there’s simply too many! How I wish I had a picture of the shop!
After all that walking, we decided to take a train to Shilin Night Market to have a “preview” of what it is like and yes, like every other market, it’s as hustling and bustling as the rest that we went, just that at Shilin Night Market, there’s such a big shop that sells mainly branded shoes ranging from Nike to Adidas to New Balance to Vans to Timberland to Puma to Keds to K Swiss to Asics etc. So many shoes. So many designs. So many colours. I wonder why I didn’t buy anything. But there’s a pair of Vans shoes that I almost bought just that the size is right but the comfort isn’t.
But Shilin’s shopping area is seperated from the eating area like a few metres away, although there are also street stalls that gather at their usual locations, providing ever tasty food and beverages for shoppers like us along the way. Ultimately, it’s such a wonderful shopping area that when I was walking on my way there, I saw Kim Swee! SUPER SMALL WORLD CAN. I didn’t expect to see a friend at like overseas and moreover, friends that I probably know at least for 4 years! Quite estatic actually. LOL.
Day 6 – Keelung, Shida Night Market
This is probably the place that you MUST visit. Firstly, Keelung, though at the northern part of taiwan, is raining excessively almost every time and day of the year, is like a wet city harbour with lots of stuff to offer. Especially food. They have a street, also known as the Temple’s Entrance (in direct translation) that hosts numerous stalls of splendidly sumptuous food that you can go eating the whole day non-stop. What’s more, it’s touted as the best food street in Taiwan. And I second that.
Apart from that, I manage to get my bubble tea as usual, and then I head for a haircut that was quite worth paying. Though at $13, the whole deal comes with a shoulder massage, a neck massage, hair wash, cut, wash, dry, style. Totally worth it. Love the hairdresser there, she’s cute. And she’s quite shocked that someone like me can speak chinese (okay after all I’m chinese, just not from China.)
I will probably let the pictures do the talking. It’s basically like Japan, looks really really gloomy because of the weather there. But the food made up for all the gloominess. =D
While at Miao Kou (Temple’s Entrance), we are trying to stuff ourselves with whatever we can. So we first tried the oysters, which is a MUST in fact. Secondly, you gotta try their Glutinous rice, Pig Liver’s Soup, Curry Noodles, Fishcakes, Meatballs in some Gooey paste, Pig Blood soup, Yam cakes etc. Simply, there’s too much food there for you to try. You can NEVER GET ENOUGH of it. Literally.
After the whole lovely ordeal there (I bought a gundam as well. Haha.), we decided that Shida was the way to go again, to finish up buying some stuff for people and ourselves, which is equivalent to more shopping. Hah.
Day 7 – Ximending, Shilin Night Market. AGAIN.
Ok, this was technically our last chance to do our last minute shopping, so we decided to patronise these 2 areas of Taiwan. Ximending being that we wanted to do some nice branded shopping, which we did. And to my amazement, I discovered a street full of camera equipments and shops. CHEAP. But without international warranty for Canon. Only Nikon has it. SAD.
Moving on, Shilin Night Market was the destination for steamboat sessions, which we had the intentions to go when we first arrived in Taiwan. And we manage to find one outlet after know asking the friendly people around. And boy, we were filled with satisfaction! At only close to $15, we had like steamboat plus a frying wok just beside it as well as frying ICE CREAM, for the first time. The food they serve were definitely more fresh and better than Singapore. Imagine them serving COD FISH instead of the normal fish we used to take in Singapore. It was totally an experience. And yes, we ate so much, we didn’t feel that full either. Heh.
Here’s a few photos for remembrance.
While at Shilin Night Market, we went to try this thing called Fried Milk. Yes, we are wondering in the first place how the shit do you fry…. milk?! But then again, it was all the essence of food over there as it made me swoon over the taste that till now I cannot forget. It’s such a wonderful masterpiece that I wonder how that woman actually did it. Totally out of this world. But I knew it will be the last time that I had that, or at least the last time for the trip that is.
Sadly, my trip came to an end and I’m back in humid Singapore. But nonetheless, I had one of the most enjoyable trip around and I couldn’t have asked for better company to be there. Spending wise, I think I hit the $2000 mark, but it’s just nice for me, because I saved A LOT on accommodation. It was a much needed trip, and I totally enjoyed my time there!
We all love how this trip is. I will be back there again before you know it. I just love Taiwan!
Dead?
03 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
in Just Updates, life, love, mood, rant, reflections, whatever
No I’m not dead yet. Couldn’t find the time to blog properly because of the immense programmes and activities going on in life that either I or my friends have arranged for myself, and yes, I’m enjoying it thus far. But after all that has happened, sadly I still cut a lone shadow back home. But I know I can get back to rest. And be at peace.
But I never liked total silence. Or at least silence in the longest of hours at times.
And I’m not done with my Taiwan blog post and pics, though I’m trying to get it up and running asap. I’m on leave next week. Probably I can deal with that on a weekday so empty and quiet. Then again, everyone’s busy with their own lives and all, and I’m concentrating as much to keep myself busy in order not to think so much. Perhaps everyone should just do that to keep themselves busy.
I still have more to go, and that I’m trying to achieve my target as such. And it’s not easy, but I gotta save more than I can. Gotta eat cheap in camp and all. Just gotta learn how to save money. Life’s been difficult these days. Everyday I go to work, and get back home without any thought of anything far, of what to do, of what to achieve. Not that I have everything, but everything can’t happen straightaway with the snap of the fingers. Sadly, I can’t weave magic.
It’s December already and how time passed in an instant. It was just January the last time I slogged it out in camp over the whole week, and now I’m ready to start a new chapter of studying and working in my life. I’m so gonna die, but then who cares. If I don’t help myself, no one will. That means less meet-ups, more rest, more work, no lifer to begin with. Lesser of me. But it doesn’t matter anyways. Just know that I have to save money. I try so hard to arrange time for meet ups but at times I gotta understand that everyone’s not free due to work or school or what. But I can’t give a shit anymore because I’m tired of people not replying, or at least replying at the last minute. People all taking things for granted. Probably I’m gullible. Probably I’m dedicated. Probably I’m determined.
Anyways, if you are expecting a new year resolution, many people out there will either give theirs or say no because they usually don’t abide. But that is if you do not have a direction in life. I do. So I will list it out. I still – and I shall try – to save about 7k this month. I also still – and will be determined to try – to find another car for the future. And…. I shall excel in my studies. I don’t have any other wishes.
So what if I looked like I have everything? Everything is nothing.
Frankly speaking, I lost every hope in other things that I sought in life. I’m tired of giving and providing. I’m tired squeezing into a room without my personal space. I’m tired of all the rants at work though I will tolerate nonetheless. I’m tired of smiling. I’m tired of walking. I’m tired of everything.
Basically, there’s no hope in me. I will just follow my resolutions. And keep it that way.
It’s 0114H. A time that I would expect to hit after blogging. Good night for now. Tomorrow is always another day, just another day.
I give up.
Waiting For The End
27 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in interest, Just Updates, life, love, mood, reflections, whatever
This is not the end
This is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot
Rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone
And the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady
Something emptys within em
We say yeah
With fists flying up in the air
Like we’re holding onto something that’s invisible there
Cuz we’re living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it forget it
Let it all disappear
Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It’s out of my control
Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It’s hard to let you go
I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I wanna do is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven’t got
Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last
I wish it wasn’t so
What was left when that fire was gone
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it’s like moving on
And I don’t even know what kind of things I said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
Picking up those pieces now where to begin
The hardest part of ending is starting again
All I wanna do is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven’t got
This is not the end
This is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot
Rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone
And the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady
Something emptys within em
We say yeah
With fists flying up in the air
Like we’re holding onto something that’s invisible there
Cuz we’re living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it forget it
Let it all disappear
Thoughts and Dreams
26 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in Friends, Just Updates, life, love, mood, rant, reflections, whatever
At work, I sit in my crazily noisy office, and that the clerks are hectic and busy walking around doing work while the other storemen just came into the office to create even more disturbance, and then my thoughts went away from that current atmosphere. And things started to flow back like it use to be.
But wait, didn’t I tell myself to be ok and kept myself busy with a lot of things till I’m like tired? If you gotta ask me, now I realise how boring a person I am. I got no traits, I ain’t that good in my presentation of myself, and there’s nothing to look forward to me. What’s next? I just asked myself a couple of times and it got into me that I shouldn’t be wasting my time, and then it happened throughout the past weekend, a weekend so well packed. I didn’t had the time to think about what’s tomorrow. And that the Sky Park has such a panoramic view that is breathtaking, I looked far, and told myself that I had to build that building over there.
It’s probably a dream to rich that stage of abundant cash flow. We suffer now so that our generations don’t, and I never knew that everything was falling through only for me to feel that wrath of the pocket, and that if I have to achieve my dream, I need to control my spending. I need to probably set a few more strict goals. And that I need someone so thrifty to help me save up. Girlfriend? Possible, provided if there’s one out there to help me control. I want to be brought back down to earth again. Because I wanna know how mud taste like all over again. That’s when I will learn that shit happens and shit taste like that.
Push me from the highest cliff down to the sea below, so that I can drown into the immensely cold deep blue and sink into near death physique, only to gasp for air after those struggle, then I will start to cherish life.
I did realise one thing too, that I’m quite cold-blooded. I don’t feel much for many sad shows anymore, and that probably because I have seen so many fake people and fake things, I wonder what’s real already. I just… want to know what’s love all over again. Sadly, even if I fell for someone so close and dear, I can’t take back my words, and that I can’t bring myself to love because it will be a drastic result. Confidence smashed. I looked forward everytime, but only for me to back down slowly.
I’m still fading, but I only need you to point that knife at my throat, and demand the answer, then I will give it to you, and pull me back from insanity to reality, then I will truly know that there’s still someone out there worth to love.
But I think you won’t know, because you don’t think as much as I do.
Oh well, no more dwelling, time to move on again. ~
Seremban (15th – 17th Oct 2010)
22 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in family, food, history, holiday, inspiration, interest, Just Updates, life, mood, reflections, singapore, whatever
This is a trip I will probably never forget in years to come. And it’s such an eye-opener, I’m feeling fortunate enough to be living in a place like Singapore. And it has opened up to me that life there is a totally different meaning in all, and I feel different. I feel that I seriously need to change. What did I face, you must have asked. Well, this is 3 days of life in Seremban, where my late great-grandparents lived and when my dad used to grow up at a playground and falling almost everytime he runs around it.
Day 1 – 2145H
Technically, the playground is not there anymore, and it has become a carpark by day, but roadside eateries by night. And I had char kuay teow without kuay teow. Solid eh. Sitting on stoods that probably will break anytime, I had a lot of food on that particular night alone, with my uncle bringing us to eat some great beehoon with handmade fishballs and zhi char. After that was supper at the roadside eateries. Had a bowl of tauhuay, a cup of coconut drink and that plate of char kuay teow. You know, the one that sold the coconut drink to us is an old lady that has been cutting, peeling and selling that drink since my dad was young? And how old and frail she looks now but still able to wield a freaking parang right at you? That’s the amount of energy she still got left in that woman. Respect.
And we left for my grandaunt’s place, getting to know some of them, like my twin aunts and my uncle, and yes, I only realise that I have more relatives than I think I had. Discovery #1 – I have more aunts and uncles. Discovery #2 – my twin aunts used to be reporters in KL. Cool or what. But anyways, they are very friendly and humble people, and patient for sure. And I’m truly ashamed that many Singaporeans are of the opposite attitude. I guess we all live in different worlds, but it’s hard not to compare about attitude and persona. So I turned in early, because the first activity on the itinerary is to wake up at 4am and be at a cemetry at 5am. You don’t wanna know that freaking feeling I tell you.
Day 2 – 0502H
Upon reaching the cemetry, we were all cooped up, dark and cosy in the car, with no surrounding lights, and nothing but only the bleak orange horizon that stood beyond the hills that provide that very very soft shade of light. Technically, you can’t see shit. And this is not the end of it. My great-grandparents’ grave is somewhere in between, and when I get to their tomb, it’s already scary enough because surrounding you are actually tombstones till the hills that masked off all light. Imagine when you are on a platform in the middle of the ocean with sharks surrounding you. That’s the kind of feeling you get. I didn’t think that much, but it’s damn creepy, because everyone else around you is dead. Like, yea, seriously dead.
The shifu got into his robe and he started his chanting all the way. It feels like going through a funeral all over again, just that it’s only a few of us and it’s not fun doing it at 5am in the morning when all souls are resting. The purpose of this is that we need to cremate our great-grandparents and place them at a crematorium at Seremban. But this cemetery is somewhere north of Seremban. So while waiting for the gravediggers to be done with their job, we headed for breakfast, and I caught one of the most beautiful sunrise in my entire life. It’s like a stream of cloud underlining diagonally up with the sky dyed red and orange. That feeling is undeniably good because I have been trying to chase sunsets and sunrise everytime. And I get good ones there. =D
It’s even better when you are having breakfast, with a bowl of noodles and a cup of Ice tea. What a way to start the day.
Day 2 – 0930H
So we headed back to rest after that, before heading out again to the temple with a crematorium at the top of a hill. It’s was all serene there, with birds chirping and light breeze every other second. The place was clean and neat, a very pleasant turnout for the eyes indeed. It resembles only one word in my mind – Peace. And the ritual continued, with myself being the eldest great-grandson (makes me feel that old), carrying my great-grandma’s urn and placing into the slot that our relatives purchased. After making our offerings and burning the necessary papers, it was time to head back for lunch, when another aunt of mine whipped up a sumptuous meal that I will probably never forget.
The best dish was the Ginger Wine Chicken. The best dish I had that afternoon. Two thumbs up!
Day 2 – 1450H
We headed to Jusco to talk a walk around, which basically, we had nothing much to buy except venturing into a familiar shop called Popular Book Store. Bought some fengshui books because they were like cheaper than what Singapore could offer. Then we head back and got ready for dinner, which apparently my relatives there reserved for yet another round of great food. I dined in that restaurant like 4 years back, and it still serves great food with good service standards.
Then we had a surprise birthday celebration catered for my grandaunt! And it’s really heartwarming to know that because my aunts and uncle did this like how we are doing it for friends in a birthday party or celebration. Sweet eh. =)
Day 3 – 0920H
It didn’t had to be that early like the previous day, so we woke up a little later, and head down to the Big Market of Seremban to have breakfast that is so cheap and good. Even the coffee they made was so thick and nice. I had like a plate of Sotong Bee Hoon and a plate of Char Siew Wanton Mee. And we shopped for fruits and vegetables. Still the wet market I reminisce in Teban Gardens last time, the market itself is practically wet and a little dirty all around, but that’s what I have expected, and it feels like the old times all over again.
Day 3 – 1353H
Going home was a bit saddening, because I never wanted to leave this place. This is my take-away from this eye opening trip.
- My relatives are somehow humble, kind and heartwarming. It’s really nice to know that people like them still exist and it exist in Malaysia, of all places I expected. And it brings me to shame on how Singaporeans are so fortunate to be around. It also make me feel ashamed that we should all learn the proper ways of being human all over again.
- Going back in time, I learnt all over again to bathe in cold water with a pipe above my head, and I had to shit and pee in a toilet bowl that doesn’t flush. I had to tahan with fan and mosquitoes every night, and I had to dwell in the dark as sometimes there wasn’t light.
- It goes to show how important burial of the dead is to future generations down the road, because without a proper burial, there is no peace for the dead, and it goes to show how respectful you are to them.
- The time when my great-grandparents bones were dug out, my grandaunt saw and broke down and cry. A woman, so old in her age, still has tears and fond memories left to share and tear, and I feel quite pitiful because it’s her mother after all. But we had to console her a little, as it is so long ago since she passed away. It’s a sad sight, but a grief to remember.
- Though the food is cheap, it goes to show that even with the slightest amount of content they possess, it counts as a real blessing to them as it is not about how satisfying or worthy the food is but how full can the food make you feel. When we went to the restaurant, my relatives were like so well-dressed that it made it like we are attending a wedding. Contentment.
- It’s a sad day for us sometimes, but I also learn to put the past aside and face the future with open arms, and that we know we ultimately can’t run away from a problem, but more so that we could stick and fight to the very end. Determination is what we lack. And the right attitude to approach a situation lies so clearly drawn in the working world these days.
I’m glad that I’m back home though, but I’m glad that I bring home a valuable answer to unanswered questions back home. I guess it’s a very great eye-opening trip for me. =)
Directional Sensing
12 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in interest, Just Updates, life, money, mood, reflections, whatever
When January 2011 begins, I can see the point where my direction in life begins. Now as I embark to a journey of self-seclusion, I guess this is when I do not have much time left for anything but the future ahead. It’s starting to clear as how I can see. I feel more focused when I study, because I get to be concentrating on a subject or 2, but not at work. The scenario at work will never change a damn bit, no matter how much you try to change and shorten processes.
Lousy is a feeling that I cannot afford to feel, because the more I do, the more my attitude will decline. And maybe perhaps I have toned down quite a bit in my voice and my eagerness to do things lately. Lack of energy due to age? I think it’s catching up on me, and it doesn’t seem good. No wonder I feel like travelling to New Zealand to round off my energy. Because if I ever go on holiday again, most likely I will end up at some island playing beach sports, or at least settling under a coconut tree and reading a book, enjoying a good tan from the sun.
Now that Dad has gotten a baking oven, it leaves me a chance to start learning my skills in baking, I can’t wait to use them. Not that I’m turning into a househusband – and not like I can become one because I’m single still – but I think having a skill or two in the kitchen helps sometimes when you are the hungriest person in the world. Ladies, please note – the way to a man’s heart is the stomach. Keep him happy by feeding him good food, not junk food. =)
But not like I’m making any girl fat. Just want to try my dedication to baking. =))
Let me see the 101 things on my list now… Now you are not one of them.
Now Let’s See Now…
04 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in inspiration, interest, Just Updates, life, love, mood, reflections, whatever
Ok, now that it ain’t that stressful, it’s still busy times for me, catching up with people, catching up with many events going on, and also learning to move to the right direction that I planned. So far so good, so far I’m a little progressive in my actions. Hopefully I can cultivate this into a good habit.
It is always the case of not walking the talk. Now I shall slowly advance from here. So much so that the instinctive subconscious is slowly getting the hang of overthrowing my senses back to the norm. After all that hypertension in the mind and heart at work, it’s good that I can reveille in peace. And what I do look forward to every other day is the fact that I can see everyone getting busy with their lives and I have nothing left but envy and awe. That’s a bad thing because I have been living on without serving any purpose. And why is that so.
Because whatever I have done so far has no direction. I’m meaninglessly getting on day by day, withering away as the clock ticks by. Decomposing to the humidity of age. Spiralling into a numb trance of worthless standstills. Is this what I have been asking myself to do? Have I made myself clear over what I want? Now all that is shoved away, washing my hands clean off these sickening habit.
Because September’s over, Marc. Wake up.
It’s time to show what you got.
A Series of Septembers
08 Sep 2010 2 Comments
in Friends, Just Updates, life, love, mood, rant, reflections
This is the month of September, cliche to say.
But as it seems to go so slow, let me take it all the way.
As I have some song videos right here, that probably you might have seen.
Let it all begin, and reminisce what you thought could have been.
Daughtry – September
A video for you to reminisce. Find the lyrics and listen to them.
Plain White T’s – A Lonely September
A video specially for you. You won’t see it anyways.
Earth, Wind, Fire – September
A video to boogie down some time at night at Zouk. =)
Greenday – Wake Me Up When September Ends
A video to remember.
Now… let me get out of here.
Repeating.
07 Sep 2010 Leave a Comment
in Friends, hobbies, interest, Just Updates, life, love, mood, rant, reflections, whatever
So after not blogging for awhile, must be wondering what’s on my mind. On my end, the politically correct answer is that I’m busy with work and all. In fact, just working till my mind goes shut.
But on the contrary, I have been losing myself from the society to find all the reasons that happened in the past and what I have become today. I’m not the Marcus I used to be, that’s for sure. So I just wanna look back and tell myself – if time had the rewind button, what can I do to change what damages that had been dealt with.
There were many things that I asked myself, on to why I had to react that way, and why people had to react that way, and that there are many things that I want to say to people but I couldn’t bring myself to do so, and that some times at some point, I would want to take back all the words I have said on particular days of emotions, particular days of temptations and stuff like that. Sometimes I really wished that I have not done this, and sometimes I wished that I have not said that and whatsoever. The list goes on and on.
I also felt that I was selfish, and that I have not seen others in their own shoes and perspective, and have not put into consideration of how they feel, and that if you ask me how I feel when someone does something good for me, emotionally, I think that I have lost my heart and it’s empty inside me. I can’t feel any laughter nor joy. I can’t even feel pain or sorrow.
At this juncture, I don’t want to disclose any secrets that I have, long gone, or recent, I won’t say a word. Because I know whenever everything comes out of my mouth, I’m sure my life, and many others around me, will come crashing down into bits and pieces, and that even the best person in engineering couldn’t construct another perfection of art in someone. And yet it’s ultra hard to keep all this bits and pieces that I wished so much to forget. But reminisces after deja vu after memories, things just keep floating around your head and not sinking into the deep dark ocean.
How do I go about doing this? Eat more soy products? I don’t want to erase my life away, but neither do I want to keep these secrets, because I really wish to forget. The worse part? I can’t confide to anyone. As mentioned above, once I do that, everything comes crashing down. How I wish I was dead seriously. Reality bites, and it’s painful. Even till now, at work, it’s something that I can use to forget all my troubles, but when I get home, everything’s back to square one. I’m seriously damn messed up now.
I need to restructure my life.
I need to change my habits.
I need to stay focused on what I want to do.
I need to stay away from all the negativity.
I need to change my delusional jobscope.
I need to take my photos.
I need to get away from here.
I need to shout out loud.
I need to stop thinking about hope.
I need to hug someone badly.
Last but not least…..
I need to cry.
Sadly…
There’s no shoulder anymore.























































































































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